All About Relationship

You know God is trying to teach you something when He keeps showing you the same thing from all different directions.  A few days ago I had written about desiring to seek God in decisions...as in not just seek an answer from Him, but really seek HIM.  Yesterday I was emailing back and forth with my friend Kimi, and she told me about her pastor's sermon this weekend at Keystone Church. Kimi's prayer for herself is that she "will not try to BE like Jesus, but that I will let Jesus BE in me. The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, and trying to be like Jesus only leads to either pride (if we succeed for a while) or frustration (I’ll never get this right)."  

Her words reminded me of Colossians 1:27: "To them [the saints] God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

The hope of glory.  In ourselves, we have no hope of glory.  That's why, in Kimi's words, our efforts to BE like Jesus only lead to pride or frustration.  We cannot simply choose to BE like Jesus.  We aren't like Jesus.  Still, we strive and we stress and we think that if we just try harder, maybe next time we will get it right. We ask God what He wants us to DO, and what does He say?

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in Him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." ~John 15:5

abide--to remain, continue, stay with, dwell

Abide in Him.   Him in me.  Hmm... 

Christ in me.  The hope of glory.

Last night I decided to re-listen to one of my favorite sermons by my pastor from home (David Platt, The Church at Brook Hills). I remembered that at the time, this message had given me a different perspective on Biblical decision-making, but I had forgotten most of the major points.  As I listened, I realized he was talking about the exact same thing that Kimi had mentioned earlier.  (Imagine that, right?)  In the sermon, David discusses all of the contemporary (and often comical) methods we try to use to determine God's will for our lives.  His conclusion?  "These methods miss the point of a relationship with God."  A few of my favorite quotes:

• God is more passionate about you knowing His will than you are...God desires for me to follow His will so much that He lives in me to accomplish it.
• The will of God is not a roadmap; it is a relationship where Christ overtakes our will to become one with His as we trust in His Word.
• What if our job is not to figure out what God's will is and do it for Him?  What if we day by day trust Christ to live in us?
• Knowing God's will is secondary to simply knowing God. 
• Experiencing, following the will of God is not a passive journey, where we just sit back and wait for Him to show us something; it's an active journey, we were are constantly taking the will of God that has been revealed to us and walking in it, and obeying it...When you don't know what to do, do what you know to do.
• Quote from Adrian Rogers: "The way to find God's will for the rest of your life is to do God's will for the next 15 minutes." 
• David's Constant Prayer: "God, I pray that today, now, you would lead me to the people, places, and positions where I can most effectively make disciples of all nations."
• If I am seeking after Him and saying, "God, I want to follow Your will right here, right now," and doing that, I'm confident that wherever I am five, ten, fifteen, forty years from now, I'll be exactly where God wants me to be.  Not because I trust myself but because I trust Christ in me to accomplish what He has created me for.

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." ~Philippians 2:13

It all goes back to that, doesn't it?  Christ in me.  Christ in you.

Sometimes, it feels easier to ask for a roadmap.  If I'm really honest, sometimes that's all I want.  But I'm starting to learn that when I ask for a roadmap, I miss the relationship.  And I'm starting to learn that the relationship is so much better. 

If you have time, I would highly encourage you to listen to the rest of David's sermon for yourself.  All of his sermons are available free on video or podcast.  For the message referenced above, click here, choose between video or audio, and then select "The Disciple's Will" from 10/21/2007.

"Enyo Gangi"

Another mooch from Ali's blog.  Just read it.  Trust me. 

Free to Live (Revised)

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made Himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!" ~Philippians 2:1-8

I wonder how my life would be different if it weren't all about ME. MY desires. MY decisions. MY day.  I'm discovering more and more that life is a whole lot more interesting, more joyful, more free, when I take the focus off myself.  The problem is, I'm not very good at taking the focus off myself. 

"What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" ~Romans 7:24

The world says to look out for number one, but what a self-destructive path that is.  What an empty, lifeless world is the one that revolves around ME.  Over and over, God is teaching me that He came to give us LIFE. Real life. An adventure into unexpected grace.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they might have life, and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

Not a life absent of trouble, but a life of peace in the midst of uncertainty, joy in the midst of heartache.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

But I can't have both at the same time.  I've tried that, and it doesn't work.  I have to choose.  My life or His?

"We've got to stop preaching this gospel that says you can add Jesus to your life. What the gospel teaches is you lose your life and then you find it. You sacrifice everything and Jesus says, 'I offer you something better.' "  ~Francis Chan.

"Then He said to them all: 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?'" ~Luke 9:23-25

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." ~Galatians 2:20

"Our old body of sin, the nature that must seek its own way, the person who is hopelessly depraved and resigned to failure, hangs limp on the cross. Raised in its place is the Spirit of the Living God poured into a temple of flesh so that God's presence will remain among men...Oh, that we would not cling to the things of our old body of sin. It is nothing but a decaying carcass. I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live but Christ lives in me." ~Beth Moore on Galations 2:20

Lord, set me free from the captivity of self. I'm weary of ME. Replace me with YOU.  For in You and You alone is the path of life.

My Sentiments Exactly

Time for another blog mooch!  My friend Ali just shared about how it feels to live "next to Africa" during the Togolese elections.  I can totally relate.  Read her post "Elections from Afar" or check out her all of her insightful thought's at Ali's African Adventure.

Enough

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

*Lyrics to "Enough" by Chris Tomlin

I think I may have asked for this.

I remember thinking sometime around November that my life was too easy. I had been talking to a friend who was going through a rough time and thought about how God would probably use this to draw her closer to Him. It suddenly hit me that I had drifted to a place of stagnancy. I hadn't felt God in a while because I hadn't really sought Him. I remembered the times in the past few months when I had really experienced His presence and work in my life. They had been the times when I was struggling with something and had to be totally dependent on Him. Although I'm not sure I verbalized a prayer, I know I at least thought that I needed to be shaken up a bit.

Then I forgot about it. But God didn't.

The past three months have been a gradual build-up of unknowns for me. Probably the biggest issues have involved the condo I own back home. A lesson learned in rash and prayerless decisions, it has been nothing but trouble since I decided to move to Africa. I won’t go into all the little details (there are way too many), but it has been enough to cause what I feel is an unfair burden to my parents, and enough to make me prayerfully consider whether I need to stay in Africa for a second year or come home at the end of this school year.

I HATE decisions. Especially life changing ones. The only contingency to my two-year commitment to Mercy Ships has been the condo, and the issues with it just seem to be escalating from all angles. I don’t know whether to say it is spiritual warfare--a means to confuse me into returning home too early--or if God’s intention was to use that contingency to lead me home next year.

Did I mention I hate decisions? Let's just reiterate that fact for a moment.

But as much as I hate decisions, as much as I wish God would send me a quick email telling me exactly what to do, I’m seeing that He is using this process to reveal what He has already done in my heart and what He is doing right now. He’s shown me areas where He has broken down strongholds in my life that had been there for years, things that I had buried and hidden but in my heart was afraid I would never truly get past. I’m too prideful to air my dirty laundry to the entire internet world, but I will say He allowed these circumstances to uproot what I had buried and bring it to the surface, and through that process He showed me clearly that I no longer need to fear the power of these strongholds.

And as for the spiritual warfare? Oh, I definitely think it’s a part of this process. Whether Satan is trying to confuse me into going home when I shouldn’t, I don’t know. What I do know is this: he is doing everything in his power to distract me from TODAY.

You see, while the decision for where I will be next year needs to be made soon, it’s not absolutely necessary that it be made today. I saw so clearly last summer that God is perfectly capable of directing my steps, even when I have no idea what to do. He has shown me over and over again that His timing is perfect, sometimes later than I think I’d prefer, but in the end, well worth the wait and ALWAYS better than what I had planned for myself. Yet somehow my analytical, can-you-please-just-tell-me-what-to-do-now brain forgets that He is in control of tomorrow and only asks me to walk with Him TODAY.

“Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11).

“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:33-34).

TODAY, God wants me to experience His presence, His peace, and His joy in my life. TODAY, He wants me to be so filled with His love and grace that it overflows to those around me. TODAY, He wants me to have my eyes open for opportunities to encourage others. If I am so busy trying to figure out tomorrow, I totally miss out on the gift of TODAY.

“The thief comes only to kill and steal and destroy. I have come that they might have LIFE, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

One way I know God is working on me is that a few years ago (who am I kidding, LAST SUMMER), I wouldn’t have recognized that the enemy’s goal was to steal my todays. In moments of indecision, I always acted as though the decision was the end and not the means. My desire was only for direction, not so much for the Director. Now, I’m still asking Him to show me the way I should go. I’m still asking Him to guide my steps. I’m still asking Him to give me Scriptures that apply to this situation and the wisdom to rightly apply them. I’m still asking Him give my hesitant, uncertain heart repeated confirmations. BUT…amidst those prayers, I’m asking just simply for HIM. I’m asking to feel His presence. I’m asking to know His heart. I’m asking to have eyes to see the situation as He sees it. I’m asking Him to help me not be distracted by this decision and miss out on abiding with Him and loving others TODAY. And I realize that if I have HIM, the answer to my question of what I should do isn’t really all that important. He will work all of that out in His perfect timing. HE is all the answer that I need.

And you know what? I think that may be at least part of His purpose in shaking me up a bit. So no, I don’t regret asking for it.  :)

Pray for Togo

Togo hosts presidential elections today.  Please pray that the people of Togo will have a smooth democratic election today and peace within the country over the next few weeks.

My African Romance

In some ways, moving to another country is like a budding romance. In a relationship, everything feels new and exciting at first. You can't wait to share even the most minute details about the other person with whoever is willing to listen. You feel the need to take pictures of every experience together because you want capture each moment and never forget.

And then one day something changes. You wake up and realize you have nothing better to talk about than coffee creamer and popcorn. (You need to have read my last post to get that.) I joke, but the reality is that at some point all lasting relationships simply become "normal." You can't stay in the sleepless, can't-stop-thinking-about-‘em, butterfly infatuation forever. Hopefully, what replaces the constant butterflies is a comfortable, right-where-I-need-to-be feeling of being at home with the other person.

I'm now at home with Africa. I love it so much more than I did when we first met. But I no longer snap pictures at every corner. I'm no longer awestruck by the minute details, nor do I feel the need to chatter about them to anyone who will listen. I'm in the comfortable, right-where-I-need-to-be place.

As thankful as I am for the contentment of this season, I'm sorry that this normalcy has led to less blogging. I want to get back into the habit of sharing about this love, this life, with you. Starting now…

For my first few months in Benin, I was adjusting to so many things at once just on the ship: being thousands of miles away from family and friends, living with over 400 people from around the world, living on a SHIP, sharing tiny living quarters with strangers, and starting a new job. I never realized it then, but I was so focused on adjusting to ship life that, in many ways, I missed out on knowing Africa.  It was really only at the end of our Benin outreach that I felt a true desire to make Africa my home, not just the ship. 

That has all been different in Togo. From the moment we arrived, I was impatient to build relationships within the local community. Instead of viewing an African church as a place to visit to see how people from another culture worship, I want to call a local body of believers my church family. In Benin, I participated sporadically in a few different off-ship ministries; now I’m committed to tutoring a small group of neighborhood kids every Monday night.  And I absolutely love it.

I can’t wait to share more about my church and the kids I am tutoring. Since this blog post is already turning into a novel, I’ll save that for later. Until then, here are a few pictures from my first three weeks in Togo.

Pictures from Eglise Mission Church of Christ (my new church family)...

the congregation (taken by a friend seated behind the pastor)

women dancing during worship

worship band playing the African drums

After the service, someone from Mercy Ships presented boxes of clothes and toys from a church in Tenerife.

the children holding up their new toys

new toys!

A few pictures of the city (taken from the top of a roof)...

More to come soon...

Containers make me happy.

It has become apparent to me in recent days that I have developed four very odd addictions on the ship:

1. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
2. cinnamon toast
3. coffee with French vanilla powdered creamer
4. microwave popcorn

Why addictions?  Well, take this past Saturday for instance.  Hot lunches aren't served on Saturdays and Sundays on the ship, so we are responsible for packing a lunch at breakfast.  For me, this typically means PB & J and an apple.  Last Friday though, croissants were served at breakfast, and I had the unprecedented foresight to save one for Saturday lunch with some cheddar cheese and deli sliced roast beef.  As I sat with some friends on Saturday with my "gourmet" lunch, I found myself envying my friend's soft and delicious peanut butter with strawberry jam on wheat. 

Sad, isn't it?

So you can imagine my despair as my stash of French vanilla coffee creamer and microwave popcorn, which accompanied me from the Trussville Walmart all the way to Africa after my time at home for Christmas, began to approach its end.  I considered asking my mom to ship me a package, but it seemed wasteful considering the cost of shipping would turn a less-than-$2 item into around $10.  I decided I could survive on coffee with sugar and milch (the next best thing to milk), and I could just increase my consumption of cinnamon toast to make up for the lack of popcorn (kidding). 

Then something wonderful happened...the container arrived today!  For those of you who haven't experienced the blessing that is a container, the container is a giant, trailer-sized metal box filled with goodies from our international operations center in Texas.  We eagerly await one about every 6 weeks.  Guess what was inside this particular container?  Microwave popcorn AND French vanilla coffee creamer!!! 

It was a happy, happy, HAPPY day.  :)